Following up
Email for I know you saw this and chose violence.
"Following up on my follow up to the thing you are avoiding."
#sales
12 entries
Value add
A phrase added to make ordinary work sound like a gift.
"As a value add, I attached the file you already asked for."
Pipeline
A list of deals that are all closing very soon and never do.
"The pipeline is healthy, said the rep with one real lead."
Close
To finally get a yes after the customer stopped reading your emails.
"I am about to close, said the deal that has been about to close all quarter."
Cold call
Interrupting a stranger lunch to read a script they will never finish.
"My cold call reached voicemail, which was honestly a relief for us both."
Churn
The polite term for customers quietly leaving and never coming back.
"Churn is up, but engagement is also up, mostly people leaving."
Upsell
To sell someone more of the thing they have not figured out yet.
"He tried to upsell me the premium tier of a product I cannot log into."
Touchpoint
Any contact with a customer, counted obsessively in a spreadsheet.
"We logged 12 touchpoints and still lost the deal."
Funnel
A diagram showing how many people lose interest at every step.
"Our funnel is a cliff with one survivor at the bottom."
Quota
A number designed to be just out of reach all year.
"I hit 99% of quota, which counts as failure and a great story."
Discovery call
A meeting to discover whether the prospect will ever answer again.
"The discovery call discovered they ghosted us."
Warm lead
A prospect who once clicked an email and now lives in your CRM forever.
"This warm lead has been warming since 2021."