EOD
End Of Day. A deadline that legally means 11:59 p.m. but emotionally means whenever I get to it.
"Need this by EOD, sent at 4:55 p.m."
19 entries
OOO
Out Of Office. A status that stops your calendar but not your anxiety.
"I am OOO, which means I will only check email eleven times today."
ASAP
As Soon As Possible. A priority level meaning ahead of the four other things I also said were ASAP.
"Everything is ASAP, so nothing is."
FYI
For Your Information. A passive-aggressive forward that means I am creating a paper trail.
"FYI, cc your manager, my manager, and legal."
Hard stop
A meeting boundary announced confidently and respected by no one.
"I have a hard stop at 3, said the person still talking at 3:40."
Per my last email
Four words that mean I already told you and now I have proof.
"Per my last email, as in scroll up and read what you ignored."
Reply all
A single keystroke capable of ending careers and starting feuds.
"He hit reply all to say thanks and the thread lasted four days."
Looping in
Adding more people to an email so the blame has somewhere to spread.
"Looping in the whole team so this becomes a group failure."
Gentle reminder
A threat wearing a cardigan.
"Just a gentle reminder, which is the third one and not gentle."
Out of pocket
I will be unreachable and emotionally unavailable.
"I am out of pocket next week, meaning do not find me."
Noted
One word that means I heard you and I will be doing none of that.
"Noted, the most final word in any disagreement."
Following up
Email for I know you saw this and chose violence.
"Following up on my follow up to the thing you are avoiding."
Flag
To raise a concern loudly enough to be on record but quietly enough to do nothing.
"I just want to flag that this is on fire, then he logged off."
Out of an abundance of caution
We have no idea what happened but we are panicking responsibly.
"Out of an abundance of caution we reset everyone password at midnight."
Circling back
Returning to a topic everyone hoped had quietly died.
"Circling back on this, said the email reviving a corpse."
EOW
End Of Week. A deadline that quietly slides into Monday.
"I will have it by EOW, which is now a flexible concept."
COB
Close Of Business. A time that depends entirely on whose business and which timezone.
"Need this by COB, but COB where, exactly."
Circle back
A verbal placeholder for I am not dealing with this right now.
"He circled back so many times the topic got dizzy."
Ping
A digital tap on the shoulder, repeated until you respond out of spite.
"Three pings, two DMs, and an email, all for a yes or no."