EBITDA
Earnings before all the parts that make the earnings look bad.
"We are profitable on an EBITDA basis, ignoring rent, payroll, and reality."
#acronyms
22 entries
MVP
Minimum Viable Product. The 10% of what you promised, shipped early and rebranded as lean.
"The MVP has one feature and three disclaimers."
MVP
Most Vanishing Person. The teammate whose camera, mic, and Slack dot all go dark the instant work is assigned.
"Assign a task and watch the MVP achieve total invisibility."
EOD
End Of Day. A deadline that legally means 11:59 p.m. but emotionally means whenever I get to it.
"Need this by EOD, sent at 4:55 p.m."
OOO
Out Of Office. A status that stops your calendar but not your anxiety.
"I am OOO, which means I will only check email eleven times today."
PIP
Performance Improvement Plan. The polite countdown timer from HR.
"They put him on a PIP, which is corporate for start packing."
WIP
Work In Progress. The permanent state of every document, ticket, and human in the building.
"It is a WIP has meant the same thing for two years."
ASAP
As Soon As Possible. A priority level meaning ahead of the four other things I also said were ASAP.
"Everything is ASAP, so nothing is."
FYI
For Your Information. A passive-aggressive forward that means I am creating a paper trail.
"FYI, cc your manager, my manager, and legal."
OKR
Objectives and Key Results. Goals ambitious enough to motivate and vague enough to never technically fail.
"We hit 0.7 on the OKR, which we are calling a win."
TBD
To Be Determined. The most honest two words on the entire roadmap.
"Launch date TBD. Budget TBD. Plan also TBD."
WFH
Work From Home. Same job, fewer pants, more snacks within reach.
"WFH day, meaning my commute was eight feet and a coffee."
KPI
Key Performance Indicator. A number chosen because it is easy to make go up.
"We hit every KPI and somehow lost money."
ROI
Return On Investment. The number you invent to justify the thing you already bought.
"The ROI on the offsite was strong, mostly in vibes."
SOW
Statement Of Work. A document everyone signs and no one rereads until the lawsuit.
"That feature is not in the SOW, the four words that end all hope."
RACI
A chart explaining who is Responsible, Accountable, and Confused.
"The RACI says I am Informed, which means I found out after it broke."
SME
Subject Matter Expert. The one person who knows how it works and is always on vacation.
"We need the SME, who is, of course, unreachable until next month."
SME
Small or Medium Enterprise. Big enough to have meetings, small enough to feel them.
"We sell to the SME market, which means everyone is overworked, including us."
EOW
End Of Week. A deadline that quietly slides into Monday.
"I will have it by EOW, which is now a flexible concept."
COB
Close Of Business. A time that depends entirely on whose business and which timezone.
"Need this by COB, but COB where, exactly."
NDA
Non-Disclosure Agreement. The reason I cannot tell you why I am laughing.
"I signed an NDA so dense it had an NDA inside it."
POC
Proof Of Concept. A demo built overnight that leadership treats as a finished product.
"The POC worked once on my laptop, so naturally they sold it."